Just an everyweek routine..turned..

Dear Blog.
Today is Saturday, and every Saturday we go into town for shopping, i saw my two old mates from high school there. we went round town and met mum at asda, to find my old Army Cadets fund raising there. luckily most of them didn't recognize me then i though..
'can people really change that much, so old friends cannot recognized them?' wow, what a wonderful world this really is. if you think about it anyone can change into who they want to be, but then we judge them for doing so. like goths and emo's, they want to be heavy-metal/scene kid then that should be fine, if people want to be gay or lesbian that should be fine, but why have we got to judge them, why have we got to be enemies to them just for looks, style and what kind of music they are into. i think, and this is my opinion, any one can disagree if they wish then fine but i say that it is wrong, just because they choose that style/look and music doesn't necessarily mean we have to treat them like they are 'scum of the earth' like some say. but again, this is just my views and opinions.  

Bye Blog.

how my days now blur into one..

Dear Blog,

Now that i have left school, i have nothing to do, i have taken up more reading but that makes me even more tired and the days blur into one.
i am so bored at home that i have nothing to write about, thus why i didn't write yesterday.
Bye Blog.

the glorious sound of rain.

Dear Blog,

When i came home from yarmouth i was exhausted so i decided to get in my comfy corner and curl up in my duvet to watch criminal minds. i love that show, that is all i have watched in the past couple of days.

well anyway, back to the point, i heard the rain crashing down onto rooftops, roofs of cars and the windscreens and bonets, it was silent in my house so this is all i had heard it was the single most beautiful sound i have ever heard. the way that the rain drops drop into already made puddles, the splattering of the rain drops on cars and umbrella's and most of all the way it splashes like a waterfall when someone has driven through the puddle.

that is all from my day:)
bye blog.
mynotsosociallife.

again. more stuff. same day.

Dear Blog,

My amazing auntie who lives in the states (where i want to live!) saw my last blog and said this and i quote;
"try to imagine it...

try to imagine talking with someone else...holding hands with someone else...looking into the eyes of someone else you love...someone new and unexpected and wonderful

imagine meeting him...the butterflies in your stomach when you hear his voice say your name"

which then got me thinking, would it get better, would it be easier when i have someone who loved me back instead of living off unrequited love.

she said and i quote;

"then what you are missing is having someone wonderful in your life to love and share with and not just missing your ex"

which again, my mind then said to me 'this feeling that you excuse for missing your ex, it is the feeling that you want to be loved instead of loving'. this has changed everything that i had previously written. so now that this has changed every thought that i did have a moment ago, it has been replaced with more resonable and rhetorical questions that, really, no one can answer. 

the wise banter that my auntie had said to me had inspired me to become a new and wiser person, one that doesn't let the mistakes and ex's ruin her days, one that doesn't cry herself to sleep.

i will let you know more about it tomorrow, because i have to sleep now.

By Blog.
mynotsosociallife.

you make me crash and burn to the ground.

Dear Blog,

Today, it was a good day, i curled up in my duvet whilst watching criminal minds, then before i knew it it was time for Dinner, we are so classy we had kebabs.
When i got home from being out with my friends, i went on facebook and i had an email. it was from my ex, great. ever since me and him broke up little over a year ago now he likes to email me verbal abuse. this gets me down because i broke up with him for cheating and ever since i have regretted it.

I miss everything about him.
i miss the way we used to sing like crazy on sing-star, the way we used to curl up together on the sofa whilst watching TV with his family and they way he smiled, smelled. and every single part of me wants me to say to him that i didn't mean to break up with him, i still love you.
But, to me, you should be over your ex if it has been over a year, but my family bring him up, even when i go to pick up my little sister from school he is there and sometimes i just want to run and hide and cry till i dehydrate.
that is what i at night before i sleep. i cry at everything that has something to do with love. even my diary doesn't help anymore. i do not know if this is normal, do i go to a psychiatrist? i am confused.

Bye Blog.

mynotsosociallife.